Here’s a tip for making your weekends seem longer: Go to a couple of kids’ birthday parties… TIME STANDS STILL. Dark LionSeptember 16, 2012Status PostsPermalink
I think if you are a size 0, then it’s only fair that we shouldn’t be able to see you. Dark LionSeptember 15, 2012Status PostsPermalink
The amount of activities your kids are in is directly proportional to the amount of sanity you will lose trying to get to all of them. Dark LionSeptember 14, 2012Status PostsPermalink
I wish all these people who keep saying I’m disconnected from reality would leave me alone while I’m playing in my treehouse. Dark LionSeptember 13, 2012Status PostsPermalink
I have raging OCD, but thanks to laziness, it all balances out and no one ever notices. Dark LionSeptember 11, 2012Status PostsPermalink
I think that when you become a parent, your doctor should immediately give you a lifetime prescription for Xanax. Dark LionSeptember 10, 2012Status PostsPermalink
The only good advice I can offer anyone is to never take my advice. Dark LionSeptember 8, 2012Status PostsPermalink
So what if I’m standing in the liquor store in my bathrobe and crying. Keep your judgment to yourself and just sell me the damn vodka! Dark LionSeptember 7, 2012Status PostsPermalink
I hate when I open the pantry and I can’t find what I’m looking for.. like Pop Tarts, or my will to live.. Dark LionSeptember 6, 2012Status PostsPermalink
