I wish my life had background music so I could understand what the hell is going on.
A good friend knows when to pour a glass of wine and talk it out. A great friend knows when to shut up and hand over the bottle.
I’ll own this, yes.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.
Let’s drink a couple bottles of wine, watch The Real Housewives, and just tell everyone we went to yoga.
The self checkout lane was invented by a man who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
My husband thinks I’m crazy. But I’m not the one who married me.
My husband thinks I’m crazy but I’m not the one who married me.
My Diet Plan.
Someone should open a bar called “The Gym”. Then, I could be one of those annoying people on Facebook that brags about going there everyday.
