I just rescued some wine. It was trapped in a bottle. I saved the day!
It’s all fun and games, till someone doesn’t pick up on the sarcasm.
You know we’re good friends when I no longer feel the need to clean up before you come over.
If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for infinity.
I can’t wait for my boss to leave for the day so I can stop pretending to work.
My voicemail will always be there for you.
I wanted to work out but then I wanted to no workout more.
She’s “off her meds”. You can tell by her Facebook posts.
Everything happens for a reason
Don’t you just love those 12 seconds when all the laundry is done
