I wish there was a rollover plan for childhood naps I refused.
Mommy can’t be kind and nurturing all the time, right?
If I have 10 pieces of bacon…
I like being at home in my own little world.
If there were “Box Tops for Education” on wine labels, my kid’s school would be rich!
When people suck the life out of you, wouldn’t it be nice if they took some fat too?
I’m anxious for the day you realize I was the complete package after you have moved on to dog-faced uneducated hookers.
There are days at work when a paintball gun would come in handy.
If Dorothy can click her heels together and get to Kansa then why can’t I click my flip flops together and get to the beach?
You may think you’re cute by waking me up at the crack of dawn, but just remember… one day you will be a teenager and payback sucks.
