I blame my “sweet tooth” for not being able to lose weight but in reality its that damn “drunk tooth”.
Dull women have immaculate houses. And honey, I come from a long line of fascinating women.
I am not lazy. I just take a lot of horizontal life pauses.
I’ve officially reached Counterproductive O’Clock. Beer me.
I’m so happy fall is almost here. Now we can stop trying to get that summer bikini body and concentrate on our fall sweater body.
I don’t want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.
Since kids get an ice cream truck.. can adults have a liquor truck?
I’ve been hiding from exercise. I’m in the Fitness Protection Program.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick
S.L.I.F. (Sorry, Liver. It’s Friday)
