Congratulations on giving your daughter a name that she won’t have to change when she becomes a stripper
The guy who invented “take your child to work day” probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on the way to work
Your Facebook posts make your seem real interesting… but remember, dear, there are people who know you in real life.
I’m glad it’s the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing.
I wish my employee evaluation form had a line item for “tolerating a psycho”… in which case I have exceeded expectations.
“Let’s not bother mommy right now, she’s on the phone.” – said no child ever
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day.
When I want your opinion, I’ll check myself into an insane asylym, because I’ve obviously lost my mind if it’s come to that.
It wouldn’t be nagging if you would stop doing it
Does anyone think before they forward?!
